Monday, January 20, 2014

Control Yourself

One of the great things about cleansing is that it helps you learn to deal with life - no matter how much or little you're drinking.

Take last Friday. It was a cold day and I wasn't feeling overly ambitious for a trip to the liquor store. Yet a quick look around the place and I knew we had just enough wine on hand to squeak by on Friday night. Which meant absolutely nothing on Saturday afternoon - unless I wanted to traipse out first thing in the morning.  (And, yes, I usually do have a drink or two on Saturday afternoon. I love it. I've usually been up for hours by this time and I'm not cracking anything open before 1:30 or so. But a morning glory or a glass of white wine in the afternoon is awe-some to me.)

Anyway, I weighed the pro's and con's of a liquor store run and my decision was to stick it out.  I sipped (very) moderately on Friday night, read the paper with coffee and had orange juice with brunch on Saturday. (You know, like normal people.) I remember looking down at my glass at one point and feeling this contented rush wash over me. I know it's not a big deal to people who've never had a problem to drink O.J. with weekend brunch instead of wine. But it never amazes me how much control cleansing has given me. It's given me the ability to choose again.

Because in the old days, I didn't have that choice. My prime directive on any given day was to make sure there was enough wine in the house.  It didn't matter how hot, cold or miserable it was out there, when it came to my wine, I was like a U.S. postal worker:

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds."

And 'rounds' is apt in my case. Because it meant getting enough rounds to drink. ;) Which is why I was able to feel so happy staring down at a glass of orange juice over brunch. And you know what else? That feeling transfers to a general pride in yourself that lasts long after the O.J. is gone.