We were at the Units' place on the weekend - the "Units" being what we call the hubs' parental units. When we go, we always stop for supplies beforehand at the liquor store. I get a bottle of white for me, one for the Units (they like the 1.5 L size between them) and often a red for dinner. We start popping corks more or less as soon as we get there. In other words, there's never been a time when I've had to feel self-conscious about drinking there.
However ... in the old days, no matter how much I was "able" to drink in front of everyone, I always wanted more, more, more. What I could drink was not the issue. The issue was that I needed more. Always more. There was never, ever enough wine. So not only was my own house full of hiding places for bottles - but I even scouted them out at the Units' place, too.
For instance, yesterday, I was in the upstairs bathroom and I saw my old hiding place. Since we usually spend the whole day there, that means the odd touch-up on the lips or the hair. So I often take a makeup bag of things that I'll need and toss it in the cupboard underneath the bathroom sinks.
Yesterday as I was doing that, I hesitated. I saw the empty space at the very back of the cupboard where I used to hide my wine bottle. Only, it was never actually a 'wine' bottle. Instead, I used hairspray or conditioning bottles to tote my wine around. That way, nobody could ever suspect me. In fact, there's a whole nightmare story about one Christmas of hiding wine that actually made me sick. I write about it in the book. (btw, I just finished the first full draft of the novel, so the non-fiction one is that much closer to getting done too.)
Anyway, I looked at that empty place in the cupboard yesterday. I remembered all the wine I'd hid there over the years. I know Christmas is coming up - a favorite time for "sneaking" in the old days because it was often an extended visit. Meaning more bottles, more hiding places, more guilt.
Yesterday, I just smiled to myself, happy to toss the makeup bag in that empty space at the back of the cupboard, instead of extra wine. ;)