Thursday, October 10, 2013

The Binge Brigade

Hey! How are youuuu? I missed you!!

Had to check in to let you know the cleanse is going to start Wednesday, October 15. And ... I'm needing it! ;) Because not only am I into the two-week no-cleanse-day routine, but there have been a few special occasions recently. Anniversaries, birthdays, general debauchery. ;)

Okay, not debauchery exactly. But picture this ... a husband who was once terrified of his wife's alcoholism, actually has a cute half bottle of Moet & Chandon chilling in the fridge when she wakes up on said birthday. And it's not for dinner. It's for morning glories before we even leave the house for lunch! That's the way to start a b-day!

So here's how the rest of the day went, alcohol wise. Only for the experienced drinker btw. Not recommended for children, pregnant women or basically anyone who respects their liver.

A.M. Morning Glory (Moet and Tropicana)
Lunch - Proseco and Pinot Grigio
Pre-dinner getting ready - More Moet!
Art Gallery - Chardonnay
Dinner - Kir Royale and Chardonnay
After-dinner - Cabernet Sauvignon
Nightcap - Liqueur (Grand Marnier - liqueur is a real rarity for me btw!)

So that's nine (9!!) drinks in total for the day. If you're following your recommended daily allowance of safe alcohol consumption as prescribed by doctors worldwide ... I basically had a week's worth of booze in one day. Gulp.

Needless to say, I was feeling it the next morning. But since the abuse was spread out over the whole day, it wasn't ""official bingeing" - meaning I didn't have the shoot-me-now-before-I-die-anyway hangover I might've had if I'd drunk all that alcohol over a few hours in the evening - which wasn't unusual for me in the old days. And (sadly) isn't unusual for many young people who party on a regular basis today.

But ... even though I was slightly hungover the next morning, I did not wake up depressed. I did not black out or freak out at any point the day or night before. And I didn't feel (all that) guilty. ;) (After all, I'm a drinking role model, right? I should try to be more responsible!)

But here's another place cleansing kicks in. Back in the old days, my only cure for alcohol abuse one day, was even more alcohol abuse the next day.  I'm not kidding. The more hungover I was, the more I'd want to drink again. As much or more than I already did. I was completely stuck in the cycle of addiction. Alcohol was my lifeline and my grave marker. I had no control. Either consciously or unconsciously.

But instead of bingeing again, the following day I felt my system say: Enough! My body didn't want to party again. It wanted to recover.  It was a natural, healthy, welcome feeling. And it made me feel "safe." I know that's hard to understand, but I didn't really feel "safe" around alcohol before I started cleansing. Every time I drank it was basically like walking out over a rickety extension bridge and hoping all the ropes held. Because I could never be sure what would set me off or make me lose control. I'd be sitting there drinking one minute and then ...

I'd be waking up the next morning having no idea what happened.

Only that there was a fight involved (at least) and I was sick with regret and alcohol poisoning. Which is why I just reached for more booze as soon as I could to drown out the negativity. Drinking was not "safe" for me. It was like a dangerous adventure every time I picked up a bottle.

But on my b-day, regardless of the fact I overindulged, I was lucid, in control and very happy all day and night. Then the next morning, I had some ginger tea - and lots of water. Under normal circumstances, I probably would've taken the whole day as a cleanse day. But seeing as I'm in the ramp-up-to-cleanse-mode, I bit the bullet. That night, I had two glasses of wine - pretty small ones, too - without any desire for more. Drinking is not a scary suspension bridge anymore. Not only do I not lose control - even when I'm overdoing it - my body automatically knows how to recover.

Having said all of that, I'm really looking forward to the cleanse. I got some great books for my b-day and a new iPhone to play with. Plus I feel myself coming up to a cleanse. I'm drawn to it. I actually want it - and, in the end, I need it.

Of course ... there's six more days of partying until then. So ... gulp ... onward! Wish me luck! ;) Stay well! I'll check in again!

*Disclaimer: Ms. Functional is a wry and ironic person. Despite the fact she "bragged" about having nine drinks on her birthday, she does not encourage bingeing, alcohol abuse or the consumption of week-long-drinking limits in one day on a regular basis. In fact, she's (usually) very sensible. But she's also a big fan of the following Irish writer, in particular this quote:


Oscar Wilde

“Everything in moderation, including moderation.”


― Oscar Wilde