Thursday, May 16, 2013

Liquor Strike?!!!

Starting tomorrow, Ms. Functional might not be able to buy booze!!!

For those of you in more civilized parts of the world, around here liquor, wine and beer aren't available in nice coolers at the back of convenience stores. Or huge wine sections in the supermarket.

Nope. Except for separate beer stores, we can generally only get our buzz from Liquor Control Board of Ontario stores. These clean, well-lit havens of gleaming bottles and shiny cans are known as the LCBO or "the LC."

The 7000 LC workers are set to strike at midnight tonight. News stories have been warning us to stock up, so every day this week I've been a total beast of burden. But it's worth it! I feel like Tweetybird snowed in for the winter!

I have an alcohol/strike story (go figure - I think I have an alcohol story for everything). Only, it wasn't liquor store workers who went on strike that time. It was my high school teachers.

What does that have to do with alcohol? Well, I was still too young to get a job, so what did I do with all that free time?

I drank instead!

Along with a whole pack of my more irresponsible friends. We hung around each other's houses all day, drank waaaaay too much beer, smoked way too much illicit stuff, and did the Rock Lobster until somebody puked.

Honestly, imagine it never being a school night? I can't help but think my burgeoning drinking problem got a real boost there ... I drank so much beer, I gained ten pounds!

Just a couple weeks before the end of the year, the teachers settled and we went back to class. At graduation time ... we all passed. Every. Single. Student. No questions asked. Didn't matter what our grades were before or after, we all passed the year ... for about two weeks of work.

Talk about positive reinforcement for having fun. I bet if you went back through my class list for those years, we're all dealing with drinking problems, alcoholism, addiction ... plus a lot confusion about goal setting. ;)

Here's the full LCBO story...  Now somebody stop me from posting a B52s video. I'm starting to feel like an oldies video channel here. Come on!! Especially not Rock Lobster! Seriously! I'll have a flashback and I'll be useless for the rest of the --

... damn.