Between the cocktails and the SPF rubdowns, I managed to get some very depressing reading done in Vegas. More stories from Drinking Diaries, the book based on the popular blog.
Like how one woman's friend - a 'sparkling' personality and wit - ended up dead of cirrhosis at only 26. Sad, sad, sad. And yet I couldn't help but feel a jolt of hope about it, too. I'm so convinced that cleansing can help people get control of their drinking before it gets to the point where disease is the natural conclusion of addiction and abuse.
Even in the desert sunshine reading sad stories I could feel it.
Why? Because I have control now - and I simply didn't before. I knew what it was like to not be able to stop drinking. To open the first bottle sometime before noon - and not stop. All day or night. To get sloppy, slurry, angry, depressed, clumsy - totally out of control. And terrified.
But this was not the most debauched Vegas trip that ever happened - and that's because I can now drink when I want and stop when I want. It's a little sad to think how many glasses of wine I didn't quite finish at dinner. ;) Just because I knew I didn't need it at the time - and could grab another at any of the seventeen million bars a bit later.
Another first was bringing wine back from Vegas. We stayed in a suite and picked up a few bottles for the room - drinks to get ready by. But I didn't even crack the cheap but cheerful Coppola Sauvignon Blanc we picked up. Packed it in the suitcase to bring home.
That's why I get such mixed feelings about hearing drinking horror stories. Because as sad as they are, I really feel there's a way out ... at least in the early stages of a problem. Regular cleansing. It's fun and it's joyful and it's full of hope. Which is the exact opposite of how addiction makes you feel.
By the way ... five drinking days left before my next cleanse!! ;)