Friday, January 11, 2013

Naked and Nuts

Red-letter week for hard-drinking celebs.

Randy Travis, beloved country singer with sixteen #1 singles behind him, hit a major roadblock in his career today when he was officially charged with DUI in connection with a bizarre accident in Texas last August. Apparently, the country crooner was found lying by the side of the road full of scratches and bruises, his vintage Trans Am nearby, crashed through a set of construction barricades. 

Par for the course, you say? The clincher is that he was in the buff! The totally nude Travis wasn't cooperating very well when he was put - still nude - into the back of a police cruiser where he allegedly threatened the officer who arrested him. Meaning he's also charged with retaliation and obstruction. Though the charge is recent, here's the original article, complete with must be one of the sorriest looking mug shots evurrr. 

Not to be outdone, Miss Lohan has brought her own drunken nudity to the headlines, too. She was not-so-hard-at-work on the low-budget Bret Easton Ellis flick, The Canyons, when the trouble began. Meaning, she wasn't showing up for table reads and she missed the first day of shooting because she slept in. After begging the director at his hotel - sobbing outside his door for forty minutes - she was forgiven. 

But matters got worse when shooting began. The movie, a salacious look at the lives of sex and ambition-crazed 20-somethings in L.A., co-stars porn star James Deen. Maybe that should be our first clue that this might not be an Oscar contender. But if a 14-minute four-way sex scene is any indication, it should be rather spicy. 

Before the scene, Lindsay was so nervous, she had (more than) a few cocktails to calm down. Then she locked herself in a closet for a couple of hours. She only came out after the 66-year-old director, Paul Schraeder, agreed to take his own clothes off to show her nudity was " no big deal." Zowie. Just another day at the office.

After the scene, Lindsay was so loaded, they wanted to send her home in a limo. But she refused and took off in her Porsche. Which she'd already crashed last summer. Sure, friends don't let friends drive drunk. As long as your friends don't work in film. 

Here's the whole article - including a few pics of Lindsay having trouble focusing ... on anything. And a shot of her in bed with her porn-star pal, Mr. James Deen. I was looking for a pic of him to include - so I Googled him. Only a sincerely naive person would hit a porn star's blog without knowing what she's in for. Put it this way ... I'm pretty sure my computer's not a virgin anymore.