Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy New Year!

You know, one of the bad things about being Ms. Functional is that the more I learn about drinking too much ... the harder it is for me to drink too much. So here I am, about as bright-eyed and bushy-haired as any person has a right to be on January 1st. At least anyone who's not on the wagon for whatever reason.

The hubs and I cancelled our New Year's plans at the last minute last night and decided to hibernate. We flipped through the New Year's fare on the tube, landing more often than not on CNN for Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin. I get the feeling Andy puts his neck on the line every time he drags out his kooky red-headed pal in public. She can definitely get bizarre. I wondered if she was drunk ... but, as she mentioned last night, she doesn't drink.

Really?! Was she alcoholic? Was her dad? Was she allergic to booze? A born again Christian? I had to find out why. So here she is chatting with Marlo Thomas on YouTube about why she doesn't drink.

If you're not into watching Kathy and Marlo talk about anything - including booze - skip down and I'll spill the beans.


(She was ten years old and started choking at the dinner table. Her dad, Merv - smooth with a cue card but maybe not so good with the paternal instincts - gave her his big stein of beer and said "Drink this!" So she took a huge mouthful of beer and ... well ... she never touched a drop after that.)

In Googling Ms. Griffin, I also found an interview she did with Perez Hilton in which she mentions drinking again. Only this time, it's about how her BFF Cher never drinks either.  Yes, Cher is Kathy's best friend. She says she doesn't believe it half the time either. Without the normal libations of Lalaland, I guess they must just lounge around Cher's house in Malibu ("Cher Island" they call it) and, you know, chat, laugh, and be gay icons together.

Who says you need alcohol to have fun, right? Especially if you're Cher's BFF.

So as the New Year rings in fresh and crisp and (hopefully) not too hungover for us, here's a list of the 17 Best Alcoholism Blogs of 2012.  These are blogs about the struggles of sobriety for the most part. Funny, dark, honest, fascinating. I've already discovered some of them, but there are many more I'll be reading and introducing in the New Year.

I imagine most of these bloggers are waking up clear-headed this morning, too. Just like Cher, Kathy and ... moi. Blink, blink. I didn't even pop bubbly at midnight last night. I just finished my glass of red, necked with my husband and tucked in.

However ... there is a bottle of Veuve chilling in the fridge. Meaning New Year's Day will be merry and bright! I love drinking champagne on New Year's Day. It feels like a really special way to begin the New Year. Especially since tomorrow is my first cleanse day in almost two weeks. But ... as the intrepid Ms. Functional, I'll be ready for it. :)

Just in case you missed it, here's that kooky Kathy Griffin trying to give her other BFF (also a gay icon incidentally), a blowjob live in Times Square last night ... Like I said, she got bizarre.