(I made a mistake yesterday and wrote Day 26 when it was actually Day 27. Fixed it!! It's not that I forgot Wednesday - today - was my last day. It's just that I didn't blog on Nov. 5th and got a titch confused.)
The hubs woke up today and kissed me good morning. 'Happy last day of the cleanse,' he said. I was like, huh? It wasn't the first thing on my mind, believe it or not. The hubs just got a new gig so we're both in a different headspace. When it sunk in that this was my last day, I was happy.
But I was not ecstatic.
It was more like meh. Big schmiel. I've noticed this before. That the last day of a cleanse isn't all fanfare and fireworks - because you'd expect it to be after four weeks of not drinking. The hubs asked why that was ... and I told him my best guess is that a month-long cleanse goes by so fast, it's sort of a mixed blessing - because it means that time is going by so fast. That life is going by so fast. On top of that, I also think it's because you generally stop missing drinking (apart from that hum-drum hour I had on the couch a couple weeks ago), so the fact the cleanse is over is not a big deal.
The hubs had a different explanation and that is that cleansing completely interrupts the addiction process - the addictive nature of alcohol on the human body, brain and soul. So the end of it is not that important. I liked that. And I believe it. Because I have been addicted to alcohol in the past. For many years and in a big way and I know how different things are now. How much better they are and how much happier I am. Cleansing really helps put alcohol in a healthier perspective.
And because of that the deepest feelings I have - the ones that I can feel flowing beneath the surface - are true joy, peace and gratitude. Pure, soft, relaxing feelings. Especially this time around because it's the first time I've cleansed this late into the fall. It feels 'right' to be looking at the coming holiday season from this place.
Plus ... there are some fireworks. Not necessarily 'Thunder Over Louisville' - apparently the biggest fireworks display in North America, planned every year to kick off the Kentucky Derby. No, it's not that. It's more like ... like ... the Burning Schoolhouse. Anyone remember that one? The Burning Schoolhouse wasn't the biggest or the brightest or the loudest fireworks you saw all summer. But we always saved it for last around our house because - even though there were prettier colors and higher bursts of light - watching the schoolhouse burn just felt so damn ... great. :)
btw, the Burning Schoolhouse wasn't my only personal experience with fireworks. One summer during university I had a job working at the science center in my hometown. There were three of us students planning a daily chemistry exhibit in the main hall. One of the guys was an evil genius. Another one a crazy comic. And then there was ... me. All of us in blue lab coats trying not to blow ourselves or the place up.
We made our own fireworks that summer to impress the crowds. I didn't know before that fireworks are almost pure gunpowder - but it's true. Then you add simple nitrates to create different colors when they burn.
Gotta tell you, creating your own fireworks is a tricky business. It's not something you should try at home. Or even at science centers. Because we ended up in the emergency ward more than once that summer.
Our boss eventually canceled the show and fired us all for safety reasons. And - luckily - the place still stands today.
The Burning Schoolhouse before and after.
Pretty pictures from Thunder Over Louisville
How fireworks really work.
The scene of many chemistry crimes the summer of 1985 - Science North.