Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Day 21 - Hello Halloween!

I have a few drunk memories of Halloween ... even though I'm dry today.

One is when I was a teenager, drunk and underage in my favorite bar at the time - "The President" - with my friends. I was the only person in the place who wasn't dressed in a costume. I looked around at everyone else dressed as - what did we go as back then? John Cougar? Maggie Thatcher? Ghostbusters? I seem to remember someone dressed as a big spliff/joint/blunt that night. It looked like a condom - but actually dressing up as a condom was a bit down the road, seeing as nobody used them much before we knew about AIDS.

Anyway, I looked at everyone else dressed up, some people dancing on tables. Everyone looked like they were having so much fun. Getting drunker than usual and acting wild, not worried what anyone would think because nobody could recognize them.

I was so proud of the fact I didn't need a costume to be crazy that night. After all, I went crazy every single weekend. I didn't have to hide in a disguise to do it. I felt so comfortable that night, so serene. As if I 'belonged.' I even think I danced on a table myself.

My years underage at that bar definitely helped facilitate my drinking problem early on. But I often wonder ... why was I so proud of the fact I was a crazy party-girl without a disguise? Was I actually deriving self-esteem from my fledgling alcoholism? Bizarre.

By the way, the hubby sent me a nice email. It concerned that melting-into-the-couch moment on the weekend. He wrote: "I realized that the fact you had a rough cleansing hour (and didn't have a drink!) is actually proof that your plan does work right? Right! I love you! You're brilliant!"

That's why I love this man. One of the reasons anyway. And considering what I put him through with my drinking over the years, he's a saint.

Someday I must share the only time I remember him getting drunk ... on our honeymoon in Paris ... stumbling back from a thousand dollar dinner at La Tour D'Argent. About 5,000 Francs at the time. I think I remember reading about the famous resto in a Judith Krantz novel when I was a kid. So we went there for my 35th birthday. I had pigeon! Yes, pigeon - though it sounds (and tastes) much better in French. Tres amusant! 

8 days to go!

Sources:

The unforgettably French La Tour D'Argent http://www.latourdargent.com/