Monday, November 28, 2011

The Bender

I don't know if anyone has ever seen "Kenny Vs. Spenny" but it's a hilarious CBC-produced comedy show featuring bizarre competitions between two grown men who live together, Kenny Hotz and Spencer Rice. They'll do things like handcuff themselves to each other or not sleep for three days or try to see who makes the best woman.

I saw an episode yesterday where the contest was to see who could drink the most beer in two days. Kenny, who's a dastardly but lovable cheater, decided to drink non-alcoholic Becks while poor Spenny, the slightly geeky guy who usually gets the short end of the stick, drank the regular Becks. Both bottles were covered with color-coded tape so that Spenny could never see that his nemesis was basically chugging soda water.

Spencer started getting drunk after a few beer. Just sort of relaxed and casual at first, then becoming a little more forceful. I don't remember exactly how many beers he drank but 72 seems to come to mind. Put it this way, it was a LOT of beer.

Inside those two short days, Spenny went from being a responsible, conscientious, self-aware nerd you'd be happy to take home to Mom (and leave him there) to a belligerent, violent, rambling drunk. It was amazing to see! He was actually throwing bottles around the room and walking through the broken glass. It was a complete and total transformation of his personality inside of two days, just from beer. I don't think crack or crystal meth could've obliterated Spenny's true character as thoroughly in as little time.

But I shouldn't have been that amazed. I've seen lots of personalities change when too much booze is involved - not the least of which is my own. But it was an interesting reminder about why I cleanse. Left uncontrolled, alcohol is a powerful mind-altering substance that can be incredibly damaging not only to your health, but to your very essence - which affects everyone around you, usually for the worse.

I'm so glad those Jekyll and Hyde days are behind me.

With lots of fun and wine still in front. :)

Tuesday, November 8, 2011


We went out for dinner with some friends on Saturday night. Had a little too much wine for my shoes - which were very high. Should've opted for less champagne and/or lower heels.

But ... when we got home the hubby and I hit the sofa and had the wildest time. That's another good reason not to quit drinking, right? Drunk sex.

Also in the 'pro' column of all this research that's surfacing, apparently moderate drinkers (1 drink a day for women, 2 for men) have a 23% reduced risk of developing Alzheimer's. The conclusion is based on 140 studies conducted since the 1970s. Put that in your glass and drink it.

Of course if you're having ten drinks a day, you'll actually seem like you have Alzheimer's anyway so avoid that route.


Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Doctor, doctor!

It's been a while! That last post I wrote from Vegas was my last healthy day for almost a month! Apparently, not EVERYTHING that happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Because I caught the nastiest cold while I was there and it clung to me like a retiree to a slot machine.

Much has happened in the last few weeks.

1) Amy Winehouse's death has been ruled alcohol poisoning. Her blood alcohol level was .4% - five times the legal drunk driving limit. She had recently quit drinking altogether trying to get control of her addiction. But after not being able to tolerate total abstinence, she started drinking again - hard. Four empty bottles of vodka were found in her home. Again, Amy, rest in peace.

2) A plethora of research is coming out recently about the effects of alcohol on our health, including a U.S. study that claims women who have three to six drinks a week show a slight increased risk of breast cancer. Good reason to drink, say, twenty. (Just kidding.)

3) The Canadian Public Health Association (there's a healthy sounding club!) concludes that the mild benefits of alcohol do not outweigh the costs to our health.

4) According to the U.S. National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (I can't tell from the name if this is a club full of drinkers or tee-totallers - but it don't sound fun) claims that underage drinking can lead to alcohol abuse later in life (go figure ... I had my first drink at 13 ... does the name Drew Barrymore mean anything to anyone?). Where do you think they're getting this groundbreaking research?

5) According to the World Health Organization, alcohol-related accidents are a growing concern, including burns, car accidents, falls, and death-by-booze-cruise. Imagine - that health concerns caused by drinking are actually getting worse in this day and age. It seems hard to believe.

I could go on and on with these studies that have been compiled by CBC-TV's "The National" for a series they're doing on alcohol and your health. And I will share more, but for now, I'll leave you with one final tidbit.

6) I went to my first physical in about five years a couple weeks ago. Flying colors on the blood pressure and pap smear (sorry, boys ... and girls, frankly). Even with a cold, the eyes, ears, nose and throat checked out. And I'm waiting for my blood work. But the highlight (well, besides the pap, I mean ... duh) was when the doctor asked me how many drinks I have a week. Fifteen, I ventured (though it's probably more than that ... especially when I'm in Vegas). But I told her I take two months off a year and I don't drink every day. Even so, she said women should try to keep it down to the single digits. Less than ten drinks a week. For men, two drinks a day is fine. I told her I'd work my way up ... down? ... to it.