There's a line in "Apocalypse Now" where a general tells Martin Sheen's character that if he eats a dish of prawns, he doesn't have to prove his courage in any other way. I had my own test last night at my first sober wedding (since I was 13, anyway).
To make matters worse, it was a two-hour drive, through the rain, to the countryside. And just in case that wasn't enough, the piece de resistance - it was taking place at a vineyard. Awesome. Fields of grapevines shooting off to the horizon, misty ponds, endless amounts of the house vintage.
And I made it.
Actually, it was fine. The wedding was beautiful - the ceremony taking place under a canopy of soaring trees where like nature's own confetti, all these tiny yellow-green leaves started falling almost on command. The bride was beautiful in an off-white, strapless cloud of a gown and the groom was romantic and teary-eyed.
I also adore my husband's extended family. It's huge and hilarious and fun-loving and it was great catching up with everyone - even though I snuck off the dance floor halfway through BEP's "I Gotta Feeling" cuz I was just too sober to jump up and down and sing at the top of my lungs for the whole thing.
I'm half-convinced that the whole institution of marriage was not invented for pro-creation or romance or happily ever after. Nope. I'm sure that weddings exist first and foremost so that everyone has an excuse to get drunk. And I'll drink to that. By the way, Jesus' first miracle? (John 2:1-11). Turning water into wine? He did it at the marriage at Cana. Not the National Sheepherders Convention. And that's probably for the best. I hear those sheepherder conventions are pretty crazy as it is.
Speaking of "Napalm in the Morning," it's awesome to wake up after a wedding without a hangover. :)